Myopia Movies

Wild Things

This week on Myopia Movies, we continue our Erotic Thrillers month with the spiciest 27 year old high schoolers you have ever seen! We watched Wild Things, one of the most paused VHS tapes in history. 
How did Wild Things hold up?
Host: Nic
Panel: Keiko, Alex, and Matthew
Directed by John McNaughtonStarring: Kevin Bacon, Neve Campbell, Matt Dillon, Theresa Russell, Denise Richards, Daphne Rubin-Vega, Robert Wagner, Bill Murray, Carrie Snodgress

Traces of Red

This week we start a slew of Erotic Thrillers with the first name you think of when you think erotic and thriller, Jim Belushi. We watched Traces of Red! A trashy movie set in the swamps of Florida.
How will Traces of Red hold up?
Host: Nic
Panel: Jeremy, Matt
 
Directed by Andy WolkStarring Jim Belushi, Lorraine Bracco, Tony Goldwyn, Jim Piddock, William Russ, Faye Grant

Con Air

Hey everybody, welcome back to Myopia Movies.
This week we’re tackling an action-silly Nicolas Cage classic: Con Air. And honestly—if you’ve never seen it before, I almost want to tell you to stop and watch it first… but our discussion is good enough that you’ll survive either way.
Fair warning: this episode got chaotic. So chaotic, in fact, that our newly married editor and panelist, Nur Chernnet, had to cut nearly 15 minutes of material. We went completely off the rails. What you’re hearing is the best of what survived. We hope you enjoy the wreckage.
As always, keep listening, keep subscribing—and now for some big news.
If you’re listening to this when it drops (mid-January 2026) and you’re in the Metro Atlanta area, make sure you follow CineProv on Facebook. At the end of the month—the final Wednesday—we’re launching a brand-new regular CineProv show. Even better, Keiko and Jeremy, two members of the Myopia crew, will be debuting their first show that night. Go support them. It’s going to be great.
One last thing: attached to this episode is a link to our Amazon Wish List. If you pick a movie from the list, not only will we cover it on the podcast (thank you for the support!), but we’ll also record an exclusive, personalized riff just for you—attached to a DVD so you can watch us tear into the movie specifically in your honor.
Check it out, see if anything grabs you, and as always—thanks for listening.How will Con Air hold up?
Host: Nic
Panel: Candace, JeremyDirected by Simon WestStarring: Nicolas Cage, John Cusack, John Malkovich, Colm Meaney, Mykelti Williamson, Nick Chinlund, Renoly Santiago, Ving Rhames, Dave Chappelle, Rachel Ticotin, Steve Eastin, Steve Buscemi, Danny Trejo, M.C. Gainey

Mitchell

This week on Myopia Movies, we learn a valuable cinematic lesson: you can be absolutely slovenly and still be the hero of a movie.
We watched Mitchell. Yes, that Joe Don Baker vehicle, where our rumpled, sweat-soaked protagonist somehow gets the girl… and then has her arrested for prostitution.
Chivalry is dead, folks. Our hero, ladies and gentlemen.
Want to pick a movie we do an episode on and record a special commentary just for you? Purchase something from our wish list! https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/3FN64UXVJTOEH?ref_=wl_share
How will Mitchell hold up?
Host: Nic
Panel: Jeremy
We are both riffers on Cineprov! Check us out!!Directed by Andrew V. McLaglenStarring: Joe Don Baker, Martin Balsam, John Saxon, Linda Evans

Doom (2005)

This week on Myopia Movies we celebrate the New Year with a movie set in that very year, I am about as optimistic about this year as the title of the film. We watched Doom, a terrifying portent of things to come. How will DOOM hold up?Host: NicPanel: KeikoDirected by Andrzej BartkowiakStarring: Karl Urban, Rosamund Pike, Dwayne The Rock Johnson, DeObia Oparei, Ben DanielsWant to pick a movie we do an episode on and record a special commentary just for you? Purchase something from our wish list! https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/3FN64UXVJTOEH?ref_=wl_share

Ernest Saves Christmas

Enjoy this early Christmas Present! This week on Myopia Movies, someone needs to save Christmas and we know just the corporate spokesman, know-what-I-mean? We watched Ernest Saves Christmas, Animal Control and Air Traffic Control in the same film?!?!?! Vern...
How will Ernest Saves Christmas hold up?
Host: Nic
Panel: Lauren and Jeremy
Directed by John R. Cherry IIIStarring: Jim Varney, Douglas Seale, Oliver Clark, Noelle Parker, Gailard Sartain, Billie Bird, Robert Lesser

Avatar

This week on Myopia Movies, we watched the classic story where an outsider falls in love with an indigenous person and tries to protect them and their land. Ok, not Pocahontas, no, not Ferngully. Ok, not original, but valuable property that somehow earned itself a land in Disney World and now has four sequels coming out, including one this weekend. We watched Avatar, where large cat people have intercourse with trees via their ponytail. Well done, Jim Cameron. Well done.
How will Avatar hold up?
Host: Nic
Panel: Keiko
Directed by: James Cameron
Starring: Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldana, Sigourney Weaver, Stephen Lang, Michelle Rodriguez, Giovanni Ribisi, Joel David Moore

Eight Crazy Nights

This week on Myopia Movies, we watch an entire town kick around a illiterate little person for 75 minutes. We watched Eight Crazy Nights, we tried to keep it festive, but Adam Sandler giving a TBI to the protagonist after the musical number about how great the mall is, was the best we could do. Happy Hanukah!
How will Eight Crazy Nights hold up?Directed by Seth KearsleyStarring: Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider, Jackie Sandler, Austin Stout, Kevin Nealon, Norm Crosby, Jon Lovitz, Tyra Banks