Myopia Movies

This week on Myopia Movies, we got a yearbook coming up! We watched Can't Hardly Wait, where a lovesick teenager spends an entire graduation party trying to work up the nerve to talk to his crush...turns out 1998 had a lot of feelings about the last day of high school and a surprising number of them involve Jerry Springer references.
Want to pick a movie we do an episode on and record a special commentary just for you? Purchase something from our wish list!
We are riffers on Cineprov! Check us out!!
How will Can't Hardly Wait hold up?
Directed by Harry Elfont, Deborah KaplanStarring: Ethan Embry, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Charlie Korsmo, Lauren Ambrose, Peter Facinelli, Seth Green, Jerry O'Connell, Melissa Joan Hart

Before he was terminating cyborgs or governing California, Arnold Schwarzenegger was just a well-oiled Austrian oak with a plan and a truly alarming amount of confidence. This week we strap into George Butler and Robert Fiore's landmark bodybuilding documentary, where men in tiny shorts pursue "aesthetics" with the single-minded devotion usually reserved for religious orders. We'll be riffing on the sun-baked psychodrama of the 1975 Mr. Olympia competition, Arnold's genuinely unhinged mind games against poor Lou Ferrigno, and a supporting cast of quads that deserve their own screen credit. Expect commentary on 70s masculinity, the pageantry of competitive posing, and the sneaking suspicion that this whole film is just performance art that forgot to tell anyone. Pump up, tune in, and don't skip leg day — or this episode.
Want to pick a movie we do an episode on and record a special commentary just for you? Purchase something from our wish list!
We are riffers on Cineprov! Check us out!!
How will Pumping Iron hold up?
Directed by George Butler and Robert Fiore,
Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Lou Ferrigno, Franco Columbu, Mike Katz, Ken Waller, and Serge Nubret

This week on Myopia Movie, we got a value meal coming up! We watched Super Size Me, where a documentarian eats nothing but McDonald's for 30 days straight...turns out "would you like to supersize that" was less of a question and more of a warning.
Want to pick a movie we do an episode on and record a special commentary just for you? Purchase something from our wish list!
We are riffers on Cineprov! Check us out!!
How will Super Size Me hold up?
Directed by Morgan SpurlockStarring: Morgan Spurlock, Daryl Isaacs, Bridget Bennett, Don Gorske, Lisa Ganjhu, Alexandra Jamieson

This week on Myopia Movie, we got a kill screen coming up! We watched The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters, where a middle school science teacher sets a record against a hot sauce magnate on a standee arcade machine...millennials, eat your heart out. 
Want to pick a movie we do an episode on and record a special commentary just for you? Purchase something from our wish list! 
We are riffers on Cineprov! Check us out!!
How will The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters hold up?
Directed by Seth GordonStarring: Steve Wiebe, Billy Mitchell, Mark Alpiger, Adam Wood, Walter Day, Steve Sanders, Steven Krogman, Robert Mruczek

This week we start season 13 in earnest as we talk a month of documentaries! We watched American Movie, a film about being creative, the American Dream, and keeping the Surge nice and chilled. RIP to Uncle Billy! 
This week on Myopia Movies, we're trading the usual fictional disasters for a documented one. Chris Smith's American Movie follows Mark Borchardt — Wisconsin's answer to Orson Welles, if Orson Welles had a day job at a cemetery and financed his art through a combination of paper routes and his uncle's life savings — as he attempts, against all reason and budget, to finish his short horror film Coven.
It's not a movie about filmmaking so much as a movie about willpower, and what happens when that willpower vastly outpaces talent, funding, sobriety, and — in at least one memorable scene — the ability to say the word "coven" without flubbing it forty separate times. Mark's business partner Mike Schank drifts through every frame like a man who found inner peace by accident and never bothered to explain how. Family members get roped into acting roles they clearly didn't audition for. A wall gets punched. A head goes through a cabinet, on purpose, for art.
We riff on a lot of terrible movies here. This is that rare thing: a great one about the terrible movies other people make — and somehow ends up more heartfelt than half the scripted stuff we cover. Grab a beer, don't invest in anyone's film school dropout uncle, and let's watch a man refuse, with genuine heroism, to give up on Wisconsin's most cursed haunted house short.
Want to pick a movie we do an episode on and record a special commentary just for you? Purchase something from our wish list! 
We are riffers on Cineprov! Check us out!!
How will American Movie hold up?
Directed by Chris Smith
Starring:
Mark Borchardt
Mike Schank
Tom Schank
Monica Borchardt
Ken Keen
Bill Borchardt
Chris Borchardt (Mark's brother)
Alex Borchardt-Hume (Mark's son)

Welcome to Season 13!!!!! This week on Myopia Movies we celebrate the 4th of July and America's 250th Anniversary the only way we know how, by watching most of it be destroyed. That's right, we watched Germany's most Patriotic American Roland Emmerich's Independence Day (1996), the most badass a President has ever been on film. 
Want to pick a movie we do an episode on and record a special commentary just for you? Purchase something from our wish list! 
We are riffers on Cineprov! Check us out!!
How will Independence Day (1996) hold up? 
Host: Nic
Panel: Matthew, Keiko and Emily
 
Directed by: Roland Emmerich
Starring:
Will Smith
Jeff Goldblum
Bill Pullman
Mary McDonnell
Judd Hirsch
Margaret Colin
Randy Quaid
Robert Loggia
James Rebhorn
Brent Spiner
Harry Connick Jr.
Jean Smart
Vivica A. Fox
Harvey Fierstein
Frank Langella

This week on Myopia Movies, we return to a world that once united humanity… and immediately wonder if we should have just let the aliens win the first time. It’s Independence Day: Resurgence, the long-awaited sequel that answers the question: “What if we did the same movie again, but louder and with fewer speeches people remember?”
Join us as we revisit Earth, now armed with alien tech, global cooperation, and absolutely no plan when the aliens come back bigger, angrier, and apparently very into drilling.
We ask the hard questions:
Can David Levinson save the world again using vibes, intuition, and a laptop from 1996?
Is President Whitmore still giving speeches, or just spiritually hovering over this movie wishing he were?
And at what point does a spaceship become so large that it’s less of a threat and more of a weather pattern?
We break down Roland Emmerich’s return to large-scale destruction, the film’s attempt at passing the torch to a new generation, and why sometimes “more” doesn’t actually mean “better.”
Also: we try to track the plot, which mostly involves characters running toward explosions while explaining things that don’t make the explosions make any more sense.
Want to pick a movie we do an episode on and record a special commentary just for you? Purchase something from our wish list! 
We are riffers on Cineprov! Check us out!!
How will Independence Day: Resurgence hold up?
End Credits
Directed by: Roland Emmerich
Starring:
Liam Hemsworth as Jake Morrison
Jeff Goldblum as David Levinson
Bill Pullman as President Thomas J. Whitmore
Jessie T. Usher as Dylan Hiller
Maika Monroe as Patricia Whitmore
Travis Tope as Charlie Miller
Charlotte Gainsbourg as Dr. Catherine Marceaux

This week on Myopia Movies, we boldly go… to 1986 San Francisco. Yes, this week's summer rerun is Star Trek IV, the one where the fate of the galaxy depends on two humpback whales and the crew’s ability to not completely blow their cover in the past (they fail immediately).
Join us as we explore the most charmingly bizarre entry in the franchise—a sci-fi film with no real villain, a heavy dose of environmentalism, and more comedy than you’d expect from a crew that usually debates ethics at warp speed.
We tackle the big questions:
Is Spock relearning humanity… or just deeply confused by 20th-century profanity?
How does James T. Kirk manage to save the planet while also committing multiple federal crimes?
And is this the only blockbuster where the central conflict could be solved by a really well-funded aquarium?
Featuring time travel hijinks, transparent aluminum, and perhaps the most wholesome mission in Star Trek history, this episode dives into why The Voyage Home feels less like a space epic and more like a cosmic field trip that somehow works perfectly.
Also: we attempt to explain the plot to someone who has never seen Star Trek, which mostly results in us sounding like conspiracy theorists yelling about whales.
Want to pick a movie we do an episode on and record a special commentary just for you? Purchase something from our wish list! 
We are riffers on Cineprov! Check us out!!
How will Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home hold up?
Directed by: Leonard Nimoy
Starring:
William Shatner as Admiral James T. Kirk
Leonard Nimoy as Spock
DeForest Kelley as Dr. Leonard “Bones” McCoy
James Doohan as Montgomery Scott
George Takei as Hikaru Sulu
Walter Koenig as Pavel Chekov
Nichelle Nichols as Uhura
Catherine Hicks as Dr. Gillian Taylor