Myopia Movies

Ice Pirates

Welcome to Myopia Movies, the podcast where we revisit the films of our youth to see if they hold up under the lens of nostalgia—or crumble under the weight of time! This week, we’re plunging headfirst into the campy chaos of 1984’s Ice Pirates. With space herpes, robot pirates, and a desert-dry water crisis, this sci-fi comedy is equal parts swashbuckling adventure and ‘80s absurdity. But does it still have treasure hidden beneath its dated special effects, or has it been lost in the black hole of bad cinema? Strap in, mateys, and let’s find out!
Make sure to like and subscribe where ever you are getting this! Please leave us a review and follow us on Bluesky, Reddit, and Facebook!
How will Ice Pirates hold up?
Host: Nic
Panel: Nur, Alex, Keiko, and Matt
 
Directed by Stewart RaffillStarring: Robert Urich, Mary Crosby, Michael D. Roberts, Anjelica Huston, John Matuszak, Ron Perlman, John Carradine, Natalie Core, Jeremy West, Bruce Vilanch

Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back

Welcome back to Myopia Movies the show where we boldly go—wait, wrong franchise—where we dive headfirst into the galaxy far, far away! And today, we’re talking about Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back, the movie that taught us three very important lessons:
1) Always check if someone’s your dad before you start a fight,
2) Tauntauns may smell bad, but they’re lifesavers, and
3) Never kiss your sibling—even if you don’t know they’re your sibling.
That’s right! We’re breaking down the movie where the good guys lose, the bad guys win, and we’re left screaming, ‘LUKE, DON’T DO IT!’ louder than Darth Vader in a parenting seminar. So grab your lightsabers, bundle up for Hoth, and let’s jump into the movie that made us all question our family trees and our ability to trust small green swamp creatures!”
Make sure to like and subscribe where ever you are getting this! Please leave us a review and follow us on Bluesky, Reddit, and Facebook!This week, we dig deeper into the cold to talk about Star Wars and one of the frostiest beginnings to a movie in cinematic history. We watched Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back! Do you love us? We know....
How will Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back hold up?
Host: Nic
Panel: Lauren, Nur, Keiko, Matthew
Directed by Irvin KershnerStarring: Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Billy Dee Williams, Anthony Daniels, David Prowse, Peter Mayhew, Kenny Baker, Frank Oz, Alec Guinness, Jeremy Bulloch

For Your Eyes Only

This week, in honor of the cold movie month, we hit the slope with James Bond as we dust off the archives and talk For Your Eyes Only! Roger Moore beds a figure skater....classy!
How will For Your Eyes Only hold up?
Host: Nic
Panel: Matt, Daniel, Jon
 
Directed by John GlenStarring: Roger Moore, Carole Bouquet, Topol, Lynn-Holly Johnson, Julian Glover, Cassandra Harris, Jill Bennett, Michael Gothard, Lois Maxwell, Desmond Llewelyn

Vertical Limit

This week on our Cold Movie Month, we climb K2, because it was the style at the time. We watched Vertical Limit! Remember when Chris O'Donnell opened blockbusters? Also, stupid movie, but makes you miss Bill Paxton.
How will Vertical Limit hold up?
Host: Nic
Panel: Nur and Matthew
 
Directed by Martin CampbellStarring: Scott Glenn, Chris O'Donnell, Bill Paxton, Robin Tunney, Stuart Wilson, Augie Davis, Temuera Morrison, Roshan Seth, Nicholas Lea

The Shining

This week we learn the importance of allowing writers to have alcohol. We watched The Shining, today the line would be "Jimmy Fallon!"
We are starting a month of cold movies.
How will The Shining hold up?
Host: Nic
Panel: Matthew and Nur
Directed by Stanley KubrickStarring:Jack Nicholson, Shelley Duvall, Danny Lloyd, Scatman Crothers, Barry Nelson, Philip Stone, Joe Turkel

Robin Hood (1973) - Rerelease

This week on Myopia Movies, we revisit the best version of Robin Hood since Erroll Flynn, you heard me Crowe, Costner, and Edgerton. Elwes, you're cool. We watched Robin Hood (1973), the originination point for Gen X and Millenial furries. 
How will Robin Hood (1973) hold up?
Host: Nic (but much younger sounding). 
Directed by Wolfgang Reitherman and David HandStarring: Brian Bedford, Phil Harris, Roger Miller, Peter Ustinov, Terry-Thomas, Monica Evans, Andy Devine, Carole Shelley, Pat Buttram, George Lindsey, Ken Curtis

Beauty and the Beast (1991)

This week on Myopia Movies, we fall in love again...with Gaston. We watched Beauty and the Beast, a podcast old as time, set in Disney-cember, and wish that the beast turned back (I think this is what Shrek's ending is about.)
How will Beauty and the Beast hold up?
Host: Nic
Panel: Candace, Keiko, Matthew, Alex.
 
Directed by Gary Trousdale and Kirk WiseStarring Paige O'Hara, Robby Benson, Jesse Corti, Rex Everhart, Angela Lansbury, Jerry Orbach, Bradley Pierce, David Ogden Stiers, Richard White, Jo Anne Worley, Mary Kay Bergman

The Little Mermaid (1989)

The week in your Disney-cember stocking, we are visiting the movie that ushered in the Disney Renaissance. We watched The Little Mermaid (1989), where hosts don't reprimand their panel. 
Does The Little Mermaid (1989) hold up?
Host: Nic
Panel: Keiko, Candace, Alex
 
Directed by Ron Clements and John MuskerStarring: Jodi Benson, Samuel E. Wright, Rene Auberjonois, Christopher Daniel Barnes, Pat Carroll, Paddi Edwards, Buddy Hackett, Kenneth Mars, Edie McClurg
 
 
 
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